Making our Living Manageable

Opener

It is a gift to be born as a human being.

We are specially blessed if we are healthy with energy and fitness.

Security of living with Family, in a home, alongside education, a career which affords three meals a day is a divine gift.

Velocity of our ‘LIFE’ today, the race of sustaining our selves and the space we all  want to be in,  calls for ‘Making our Living Manageable’ through a process that gives us  “Fulfillment – Aspiration – Time – Energy – FATE to have *Life in balance and Balance in work*  

There are lessons we could learn from our own experience and balance our needs and wants.  

The first lesson 

We need to acknowledge ourselves.

To do that, we need to pay attention on some relevant points and ask ourselves:

• How do we treat ourselves? And how Important are we to our self?
• Do we always subconsciously seek to be approved by others for our conduct and actions

Lesson 2

There are five ‘Elements’ of our Being as a Human

We are:

Spiritual

Mental

Physical

Vital

Intellectual.

This is a combination of our DNA, our environs, upbringing, and conditioning.

Examples 

Workers are Vital, Physical and Mental

Readers of this us, are Mental, Vital, Intellectual and Physical, with a choice of being Spiritual.

Lesson 3

For ease of understanding we could consider our mind to have 3 Spaces

Inner Space

This is our very personal space (Who am I to myself). Nobody else would ever know what our thoughts are.

If this space is kept clean, sacred, and clear. It would be our Source of:-

Mindfulness in Mindset.

Self-Respect and hence Self Confidence.

Private Space-

This is where we open ourselves to includes our Family, and a few close friends.

The Sanctity of this Space is enabled by the bridge between Private and Inner Space.

Public Space

Our Public Space is our Arena of Projection, Interaction, Connection, Kinship.

It is our island of Interpersonal relationships- At home, work, and society.

Other Humans become aware of who, what we are.

This Space is our Platform of Sustenance, Living in Wellness of Mind and Heart.

It defines us on our Being- Vital, Mental, Intellectual- on the Physical pivot.

Our Public Space is our Treasure.

Its secret Vault is from the resources of our Private space.

In turn, this gets its minerals, from our Inner Space. 

Lesson 4

Human beings are very gifted as illustrated below

The Spaces need continuous irrigation, nurturing, nourishment.

In other words, our Thought, Feelings Behavior (TFB) summed up as Attitude needs to be cultivated.

We could train ourselves to ask our self on What:

Are our needs and wants?

Are we good at, and are we excellent in what we are good at?

Do we want to be? 

Is our Attention to our Intention, and the quality of our efforts towards this intention?

Is Our Determination, Discipline, and Devotion to this Effort.

Lesson 5

Making our everyday Manageable is the key. This is our Tipping point turn around in making our Life Manageable.

It will help us make our Own World a better space

Lesson 1 to 4 are the Foundation stones for Making our Day Manageable

The Way We Manage our Day is the way we Live. Our Mind is our Life.

Actions stem out of Thought – Feelings – Behaviors- Attitude that are outcomes of our mind.

Health Fitness Energy is integral to our ‘Mindfulness’.

Humans are blessed with a unique Brain that is our Master Computer. Our Mind is the Internet. Thoughts, Feelings, Behavior (TFB), and Attitude are the Protocol Drivers. Our Reach and Touch within our Self, Others and External World are connected to the way our TFB is wired.

Keeping the above in mind, let us see how to Make our Day Manageable. A few simple, easy to follow practices are described below that would help.

1. Slow Breathing 

We are alive because of breathing. Yet most of us are not even aware that we are breathing.

Our heartbeat and breathing are directly related. Breathing rate increases to provide the body (exercising muscles) with oxygen at a higher rate. Heart rate increases to deliver the oxygen (and glucose) to the respiring muscles more efficiently. The heart, lungs, and circulatory system working together make up the cardiovascular system.

Slow, deep breathing activates the nervous system which decrease heart rate and dilates blood vessels. It reduces overall blood pressure.

As the breathing becomes slower, our brain associates this with a state of relaxation.   (FROM THE WEB)

Slowing down our Breathing throughout the day as we continue to Perform is essential and easy to follow. Every now and then, pause whenever and as often as you can without affecting your tempo at work.

Close eyes. “Breathe in fully, very slowly to the Count of 5. Hold for a second or two. Breathe out slowly to the same count. Repeat four or five times. You would feel calm and relaxed. It would also be refreshing.

Practice making it a habit. It would serve you best throughout your Life.

2. Keeping our Spine Erect

The Spine is our Main Pillar. We sit long hours in the office or in front of TV. This leads to the involuntary contraction of our vertebral discs. Disc Elasticity keeps reducing as we age. Hence, conscious awareness to sit, stand, walk erect should become a habit. It will keep the discs elastic and the back flexible. Being erect also gives us “Posture and Bearing”.

These postures also add to our persona.

3. Eye Care

Electronic gadgets are part and parcel of our living 24x 7. Staring at them in office, home, bed and even in the bathroom is common. Such gadgets strain the eyes and impact our vision as we grow older.

Most of us really do not care at present on the adverse effects that are bound to create problems in our vision in the long term.

Hence, “Eye Care” through breaks- eye exercises, and even washing them and keeping them closed is very much doable and is also essential.

 This is a very important beneficial Process.

Health Fitness Energy

Health is the Source of our Life. Fitness is the Fulcrum of Living. The energy of Spirit, Mind-Body is the Engine of our Existence.

Conscious awareness, sub-consciously sensitizing our living – thinking, eating & enjoying habits towards health, fitness & energy in celebration of our humanness is what is needed. We can still have fun, laughter with pleasure.

Our Emotions – Feelings

Our emotions and feelings in many ways manifest our personality. We often behave the way we feel and think. Let us look at a few and become aware of how these impact on our self.

Self-Respect

Self- Respect is the master key to our mind. The first step is to stop being self- judgmental, especially on our weaknesses, inabilities, and perceived shortcomings.

Self – Respect is acceptance of what we can do to ‘Self– Improve’. It requires conscious effort and introspection and talking to the Self.

Self-respect enables small wins. This generates self-confidence. It enables us to ‘Stand up to Life’. It shows us the way in “What to do” in a bad situation than feeling sad as to why it happened! Small wins pave the path to big wins.

This is true at Home, Work and Society.

It motivates us to be a confident, competent, caring Human. It helps us to forgive our self and even others. It teaches us not to seek approval of others. We will learn to stop comparing our self with anybody. We will realize that life is hard or easy as we find our own ways and means to deal with our successes and failures.

Gratitude

To be born a human is a divine gift. To be born as a human with health, physical, economic, knowledge, social, family security is a sublime gift. Being grateful for the above is part of the process of making our Day Manageable. Conscious awareness to be in a state of gratitude gives the human being a proper perspective in facing the ‘Ups and Downs’ of each day. It is the source that readies us to stand up to our challenges and convert them into opportunities.

The KISS Approach

Keeping it Straight & Simple is always advisable. When tense, resort to slow breathing. Being erect helps us from not letting our shoulders sag or stoop in helplessness.

Pause, ponder to discover answers lie within.

Learning to break down all complex, difficult situations, problems into simple doable solutions in brick by brick build approach (step by step) is the operating principle of ‘KISS.”

ROOT Cause

Running Out of Time is often the ‘ROOT’ cause that, militates against “Making our Living Manageable”

Why and how do we run out of time in the context of our Living is a matter of Our:

 Attention to our Intention.

Self – Respect and Pride of Ownership in what we do and commit to.

Willingness, Ability, to plan, prepare, and participate in managing our time.

Sense of responsibility, consideration for others for the above.

It mut be realized that the above must be above and beyond culture, conditioning in the context of the inter/Intra Global Connectivity in this instantaneous, information technology era.

Our determination and discipline in our managing our time in ‘Wellness of Mind’,

‘Goodness of Heart’, ‘Conscious Awareness in Joyousness of Being a Human’ are steps towards Making our Living Manageable

Sense of Humor, Laughter and Joyousness

Cultivating our sense of humor, laughter and a joyousness as a human being is a gift, we need to give ourselves.

It only calls for inner acceptance of what and where we are. Of course, self- improvement is always on the cards. Yet this should never come in the way of enjoying ourselves in gratitude for the many gifts of divinity we receive.

Learning to laugh at ourselves in a way is forgiving our Self.

We all do know that humour is the medicine to keep us going and making our Life tolerable and manageable too.

Closure

Let us Create our own Gratitude List. We would learn about many things to be thankful and grateful for. 

We will realize that there is no need to get carried away in success or drowned by failure. 

We can recognize how to maximize our Thoughts, Feelings & Behavior to bring reality in our home and workplace.

Let us “Pledge’ to change our:

Helplessness to Helpfulness. 

Hopelessness to Hopefulness.

‘Self’ towards what we want to be.

Approach and attitude to a belief system that works for us.

Way of living that gives us comfort alongside can and will do spirit.

Diffidence to determination, as part of Self training.

Lifestyle to be in sync with our Choice in Comfort of Health, Harmony.

Mindset to be able to stand up to Life in Prayer, Participation as Prime Owners of our Life.

Curtain call

“Where do I go from here” is a story that resonates with what is written above. 

                                             Where Do I Go from Here?

It was a Sunday – Sandeep Mehta CEO of Mehta Mechatronics an MNC of repute was in bed with his newly married bride.

He was rudely awakened by the Mehta Mansion intercom and heard His Dad asking him to come down, The Father Shri Suresh Mehta was the CMD wanted to be briefed  on some important development on a multimillion dollar new contract with a Client in Europe.

Shalini Mehta Sandeep’s spouse, also a Senior Marketing executive in the company grumbled, rather loudly- Sandeep, why cannot you stand up to your dad as the CEO to the CMD. After all

Sandeep responded,

“Shalu- He is my dad first then CMD. Secondly am aware of how much he slogged over the last 50 years.

 There must be something very important. Let me go down and listen and learn from him- Promise we will spend more time together soon.

Shalini was amazed by the calm and poise of her CEO husband.

She was also astonished at the patience and affection with which, he handled his dad’s brusqueness, impatience, and impulsiveness.

Sandeep went down, hugged his dad, and went to the kitchen, made tea for both waiting for his father to begin.

The CMD wanted to know whether the queries he read in the file have been answered. Sandeep opened his brief case and showed him the updated status and confirmation of the order received from the Client confirming Mehta Mechatronics as the project principal.

He also added that he had returned late past midnight and went to bed not wanting to disturb his dad.

He also joked “that had the CMD received that good news late night, he would have kept the company seniors awake then on.

Suresh the father said with a smile that it is perhaps time for him and his wife to take retirement and go on a sabbatical.

While all this was happening, His mother Surbhi and wife Shalu joined them for tea.

The father hugged everyone, stood up and formally and very calmly announced that there would be no CMD from tomorrow Monday and he would be the Chairman of the board and that too for a few months.

There was stunned silence for a few minutes.

Shalu excitedly asked Dad: Why this sudden decision and that too on a Sunday morning  

Suresh Mehta responded

“This is long pending decision. Today I realize and recognize the reality that The CEO of Mechatronics has sublime Self Respect, Leadership and Sound ownership that is inclusive and people centric more than focus on profit for company”

My personal and private network also affirms the same. In fact, my close confidante states that he is a wonderful and better chip than the old Block!

Continuing the Family and Company Patriarch also said that I asked my wife and guide – Where  do I go from here- She replied, the correct question is “Where do we go from here”- The only right answer is for us to go on a pilgrimage of mutual discovery and do the many thing we have wanted to do.

This way we can also cherish, preserve, nurture our Self- Respect!

Notes to Remember

Let us all promise ‘Our Self’- Respect, Confidence, through constant Self Examination towards Self Improvement – this is our Valediction and validation towards making our Living Manageable.

It calls for learning to let go thoughts and things that are now a burden and keep thoughts and things that we need to give us comfort and security.

This is the sum, substance of a holistic approach in mindfulness: “I shall Self Inspire the ‘I’ & “ME” through process, practice.  It shall be my gift to myself in celebration of my: Humanness, Livingness, Gratitude, Happiness and Courage to Manage “Ups & Downs of my Life.            

Summation

 Nothing is more important than a healthy sense of self-esteem and loving and respecting Our ‘Self’

Why?

It consciously creates Self- Confidence.

Life becomes simpler and lighter if your growing image of yourself, precludes you from getting validation and attention from others.

You become your own person

You discover that imperfection and unwitting errors are part of living

 You will not beat yourself up or drag yourself down over mistakes or temporary setbacks.

You will Learn to hope and make up your mind to try and do your best.

 You will have more inner stability with a sense of adequacy and contentment 

 The increasing self-esteem and self-respect make you feel more deserving of good things in life.

 You would go after your needs and wants, in ‘Effort’ centric planning and preparation.

Please make your personal notes and use it as handy ready reckoner especially when you feel down and sorry for your Self.

Self – Respect Quotes

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
 – Buddha

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”
– M. Scott Peck

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
– Mark Twain

“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”

– Maxwell Maltz

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Curtain Call,

Dear Readers,

In each of us there is a spark of “Divinity, Energy, Aspiration, Reasoning”. This is *DEAR* to our Self- Respect.  

Nurturing and nourishing this is simple, doable, and sustainable.

All it takes is your Love, Hope, Faith, and Courage to “Make your Living Manageable.

Let us touch the sky with our feet on the ground, “Mindfulness”.

God Bless.  

Barry  

rinavenkat@gmail.com